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Druce and Hing Podcast with Skills In Time -
Greg and Henry shared an apartment with Jack Druce and Michael Hing during the Melbourne Comedy Festival and it only took them close to 4 weeks to be invited onto their podcast.
It’s a typically filthy affair.
This is the story I wrote and performed at Fan Fiction Comedy on the 1st of April during Melbourne International Comedy Festival.
To Dear Emily
Hey, how’s it going? It’s me, Mitchell. Your pen-pal. Writing to you. ON this piece of paper. Writing, with a pen…
Wow it’s been so long since I last wrote you, I’ll explain why in a second but I first wanted to answer the questions from your last letter.
Question 1 – Yes, yes I do.
Question 2 – Probably blue but I also really enjoy the smokier greys.
Question 3 – No, no I do not thank you kind madam.
and Question 4 – My favorite Footy Show presenter is Matty Johns, controversial I know but you can’t deny the man has funny bones.
Now, the reason I’ve taken so long to reply to your last letter is because, I’ve been on a world tour with my two dads. My two dads – Daft Punk.
Yes Emily you read correctly I am the adopted son of French robotic musicians Daft Punk aka Thomas Bangalter and Guy-Manuel de Homem-Christo, I however choose to call them tall daddy and short daddy, because life is too short to be trying to say long-arse ethnic names.
We got back yesterday, it was a great trip – around the world . Thanks for asking – I assume.
You might think that being the son of two world famous robot men sounds pretty exciting, but it’s really not. I can honestly say that they’re not mysterious renengades, they’re just as flawed as anyone else – they make mistakes, Tron Legacy, they get angry, in fact my Daft Punk dads and kinda dicks.
I’m writing to you at this present moment from the confines of my room, where I have been sent as punishment. This isn’t the first time I’ve been banished upstairs and it won’t be the last. The most memorable incident was probably when I mentioned that I had been enjoying the latest album of another French electronic music duo, Justice. I was shut away without any dinner. I know right – dicks.
And…. not only am I grounded while writing this…. instead of using some form of computational device, I’m being forced to scrawl it out with a pen and paper.
Like a cave man. Except I’m a boy. So like a cave boy. Except I’m a robot boy. So like a robot cave boy, or a cave robot boy – if we’re being politically correct about it. The worst part is I’m not being barred from using technology as part of my punishment – I have no computer access because that’s the kind of family we are. Blanket rule - No computers. No laptops. No tablet pc’s. No playstation. No Xbox. No smartphones. Not even any dumbphones like a 5110.
One time I had a shot on my friends Nintendo 3DS and short daft punk daddy fly kicked it out of my hands. He didn’t fully break it but the 3D part stopped working so he had to buy my friend a new one.
They said I could have the old one but who wants a 2D 3Ds. Fuck that noise. The only pieces of technology we have in the house are a fax machine and a minidisc player – it’s like the dinosaur times but worse because Jesus can’t save you. Television does not rule this nation, it sucks.
I once got to go over to director Michel Gondrys house on a playdate with his son Paul.
They have seriously so many TV’s – pretty much one in every room. I think some of them were that weird Kogan brand that you get from Aldi, which was odd for someone whose profession is film-making to own, but I’ll let Michel off the hook because Eternal Sunshine is my joint.
You might wonder how I saw Eternal Sunshine when my Daft Punk dads wont let me watch TV. Well before entering Michel Gondrys house you have to watch his entire back catalogue. That’s one of his rules - he has a little screening room next to the front door and he stands there while you do it, it’s a bit weird but it’s a great way to catch up on his work, the guys is a visionary.
My favourite comedic actor is probably Robin Williams, I know I said Matty Johns earlier but I see him as more of a comedic personality rather than an actor - that’s just me though.
Every time I hang out with the Gondry family I like to tell Michel that he should cast Robin in his next project. He’s not that crash hot on the idea, he mentioned that there might be potential to write a script set in an evil forest and then film that in Robins chest and arm hair but I think he was being mean.
I like Robin’s really wild body hair, it’s a so different to my dads stupid fake metallic robot suits – Robin’s cool man.
My best Robin Williams movie is Jack, there are a few stand-out scenes like when Jack bought his friends a grotty mag or when the lady from the Nanny sitcom sucked on Jacks fingers and I felt weird watching it with Mrs Gondry in the room.
But the best part is where he farts in a tin and then lights it on fire. Although that scene is kinda the reason why I am currently in trouble with my daft punk dads.
To cut a long story short I farted in my two dads Daft Punk helmets - one curry fart/one ice cream fart and then my two dads put on their daft punk helmets and smelted my different farts in their daft punk helmets and spewed in their daft punk helmets and then sent me to my room, where I currently am.
Parents just don’t understand.
Sincerely
Mitchell Punk. Bleepbloopbleepitybloop.
P.S – I hope one day I can meet you and your two mums, Tegan and Sarah from that band Tegan and Sarah. If both our families had a picnic together it would look totally normal to strangers, which would be nice.
THE WEIRD ECCENTRIC GERMAN SCIENTIST BROTHERS MAN
Hifi Bar Sunday 8th April
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